The Near Death Experience of a Group of Cheerleaders (Episode 17) Transcript

The audio for this episode can be found here. 

Hannah: His bowling buddies try to find out why her son tries to invade earth in the Texas Bayous.

Jennie: Somebody write this.

Hannah: Hi, and welcome to Somebody Write This where we use a random plot generator to give us an idea, and then we brainstorm how that could be a thing somebody might want to write. I'm Hannah.

Jennie: And I'm Jennie, and to help us with our brainstorming today, we have a guest. Welcome Tim McMeen.

Tim: Well, hello there. Thanks for having me on the show. I'm really excited.

Hannah: Yeah. I'm excited to have you on the show. Tim and I have been friends for a really long time, but right now, what we're doing a lot together is he's DMing a D&D campaign that I'm part of that we're doing virtually with a group of friends.

Jennie: You're the DM I've been hearing about.

Hannah: Yes.

Tim: Hopefully good things.

Jennie: Yes. Yes.

Hannah: It's my first time. I dipped my toe into D&D a couple of times, but this is my first time for real playing it for more than one session, and it's been great. And we've had a couple of D&D players on the show, but I think you're the first one we've had who's actually run the games, who has actually DMed it. So I'd love to hear, I know since you've done both sides of it, I'd love to hear how for you, how it changes as a storytelling experience, when you're creating the story or adapting the story versus experiencing it.

Tim: Yeah, definitely. Well, being a player versus being the DM, there's a much greater responsibility because you're trying to build a world that makes sense to your players and doesn't railroad them. You want to maintain mystery for them, but you're like, "How do I put stuff out there that they'll actually bite on without being like, "There's an ominous object in front of you." You want to make it subtle enough that it's still interesting. So I also, I'm a huge theater nerd, and so this is a really cool opportunity for me to scratch that itch in a way that as a busy adult, I don't really get to scratch as much anymore. So it's an awesome experience.

Hannah: Yeah. And I know that right now, our campaign previously was stuff that you were just making up and then was something that there was more of an established campaign. Which of those do you prefer or are they both just comparing apples to oranges and they're both great?

Tim: It just depends. There are tons of really cool pre-made campaigns that ... I guess am I allowed to say brand names and stuff?

Hannah: Yeah, go for it.

Tim: Okay, cool. Like Wizards of the Coast has created and some really cool content. There's also content on a website called dmsguild.com. So if you're thinking about becoming a DM, and there's other stuff too, but there's just so much stuff to pull from and get ideas. And so I really enjoy making my own story, but there is ... It's nice to be able to just grab a module and go, "Okay. This thing is already written so I can add my own flavor to something without having to generate an entire world." Plus if you're a creative type and you want everything to be perfect, I know a lot of us have novels that are halfway finished and they've been halfway finished for 30 ... So it can be tough to create a world and be happy with it and go, "Okay. This is good enough to present to other human beings." I think the module is probably my, I'd say, "Oh yeah, I'd do it that way."

Hannah: Yeah. One of the things that I really love about D&D and D&D stories is the idea that you can set up this world, whether it's one you created or one you're taking from someone else and then the players have that freedom to mess things up, or you go off the rails and you do something completely unexpected. I would love to hear any stories that come to mind of a time when you, as the DM, had to adapt to something that really was not what you expected at all.

Tim: Yeah. So the one that comes to mind most prevalently were that characters showed up in this Dwarven Kingdom, and they were supposed to be there to help fight off this ... There was this Lich King and he had partnered up with a dragon and they were going to try to take over everything. They were buds. And this character decided that instead of trying to take on that mission, that he would be a much more effective leader than the Dwarven King. So he murdered the Dwarven King in the middle, just straight murdered him, and I'm, "Okay." And he's like, "Now I want to try to use persuade to show them my power, that I'm a better leader."

Jennie: Wow.

Tim: It's one of those things ... Yeah. So that's one of those things where you go, "Okay. I want you as my players to have fun. And this is an opportunity to role play and do things that you wouldn't normally be able to do," but you also want to create a realistic world that makes some kind of sense. And so it's like, "Buddy, there is no thing that I can do that makes it possible for this to work well for you. I would have to totally just make something up, like deus ex machina that you're, have some kind of kingly blood in you or something." So that was kind of a-

Jennie: Is that where you say, "And then your character wakes up from his dream."

Tim: Well, here's what I did. I said, "Okay. So I'm just going to go ahead ..." and I do parentheses a lot where I say, "Okay, in parentheses, this is what I'm telling you. If you continue down this path, you will either all be thrown in prison or all be murdered because you choose to fight back. And I know you. You will choose to fight back. So we'll just roll new characters and that'll be the end of this and that'll be fine." Or I can have the court wizard, I'll just do this thing where he has the ability to turn back time a little bit to give you guys like ... He'll know what you did, but-"

Hannah: Hit the undo button.

Tim: "It will give you guys a chance to redo your thing. And he'll like"-

Jennie: Control Z, control Z!

Tim: Exactly. It's like, "They need you still to defeat the dragon and the Lich King, so he's going to not destroy you." So they ended up going with option B, and I was like, "Okay, in that case, he turns back time and he grabs the one who does it." And he goes, "I know what you're thinking. Don't do it or it'll be the end of you." And you choose not to do it this time. So anyways, it was like, "What are you going to do? Buddy, these guys are not just going to ... You just murdered their King in cold blood. They're not just going to go, "Oh, yeah, cool. We'll just do what you want to do now. You're the guy in charge now." So that was-

Jennie: How it works.

Tim: Yes. It's tough to navigate, but we worked that out.

Hannah: That's awesome. Fantastic. Well, thank you so much for sharing some of those stories and we are going to get to create our own little story here. So we're going to jump on into the brainstorming portion of this. And about halfway through that, we will come up with a title and see if that helps us. But our plot is pretty intense to begin with in terms of trying to decipher it. His bowling buddies try to find out why her son tries to invade earth in the Texas bayous. This one intrigues me partly because it's all these people who are referred to in reference to other people. But there's a him and a her and then their bowling buddies and son are maybe the central characters, but maybe the mysterious "him" and "her" are. I don't know. Where do we want to start with this?

Tim: My first thought that comes to mind is that so we know that he is on or whoever him is, his bowling buddies, he's on earth and whoever her son is is coming from not earth to ... Oh, I'm sorry. He's on earth in the Texas bayous and whoever this other person is coming from not earth to invade and show up in the Texas bayous. At least that's my thought initially.

Hannah: Oh yeah. So maybe the him is an earth person and the her is an alien queen or something.

Tim: Yeah, possibly.

Jennie: These people need names like now.

Hannah: Oh, here. Let me see what we got.

Tim: Cool. Okay. Nice. Randomly generating. I love it.

Hannah: Yeah, no. We're going to randomly generate as much as we possibly can-

Jennie: Because we can't just keep ... The pronouns are going to get so tangled.

Hannah: Yeah, especially since her son is also a he, it sounds like.

Tim: All right. So while you're selecting names, I think that he ... Let me pitch what I think this story is to you.

Hannah: Sure, go. Oh my gosh. Hold on. I'm sorry.

Jennie: What? What?

Tim: No, go ahead.

Hannah: The randomly generated female name is Hannah.

Jennie: Yay.

Tim: I love it. That's fantastic. Okay.

Hannah: So my son is doing this.

Jennie: Congratulations, Mama Hannah.

Hannah: Thank you, and then he, he is Maximus.

Tim: Okay.

Hannah: So Maximus' bowling buddies and Hannah's son. All right. So pitch us your idea.

Tim: All right. So it's just a normal world and Jeff is just bowling with his buddies. But what you don't know is Jeff is actually Maximus, a playboy space pirate who is running away from an evil queen that he impregnated. The deal is this guy is this playboy space pirate who flies around and goes to different planets. Now, I play D&D, so I picture a Bard like character, maybe somebody like Star Lord. This guy who is just floating around hooks up with a space queen and then leaves her. She ends up having a baby, and so they're searching for him and he tries to lie low by impersonating just a regular old human being named Jeff on earth. And he's got these different friends and his bowling buddies, he's just a regular guy, but he's actually not a regular guy, which is why they're invading earth. And everybody's trying to figure out what is going on? Who are they looking for? And it's because Maximus is hiding out. That's my pitch.

Hannah: I like that. So the bowling buddies are ... They're centered in the plot as the central character. Is it told primarily their point of view, learning this fact about their friend?

Jennie: See, I think that would be hilarious. You have this gaggle of people, like say Communityesque, varied backgrounds and such, and they have this Jeff, bowling buddy. They find out that his ex, his son that he didn't know about, did or didn't know about ... It would all come out through their point of view and be like, "Wait, what? You hooked up with a who?"

Hannah: He's always alluding to his crazy ex.

Jennie: Right, right, yeah. He's always alluding to his ex.

Hannah: And then maybe an alien missile appears or something.

Jennie: Right. And then, I think the wording in this is also interesting because it doesn't say they try to stop him invading, it's they're trying to find out why the son is invading. And so do they find out about them separately?

Tim: What if the son shows up and it's not just him, but it's this collection of other kids that he's sired throughout the galaxy? And then-

Hannah: Just all his children.

Tim: Yeah. They just want to get to know dad. And so, his bowling buddies are like, "Listen man, we have some crazy exes. We get it, paying child support, but I don't know if you can stay on the team if you keep getting distracted by all these kids and stuff running around."

Jennie: Oh man.

Hannah: Okay. So I like this idea that it's just all his kids trying to come find him. Maybe the bowling buddies find the son who has landed on earth, and maybe Jeff Maximus doesn't even show up in the story until partway through. He just referenced that he's their friend and it's them and the son trying to figure out why are you trying to invade earth? What's going on? And the son isn't giving them any information. And then finally Jeff Maximus shows up and is like, "So this is my kid. This happens every couple years."

Tim: Yeah.

Jennie: Does Texas have bayous?

Tim: That's a good question.

Jennie: It's a pretty big state. I guess it might.

Hannah: Yeah. The Texas bayous are in the Gulf Coast region, it looks like.

Jennie: Okay, that makes sense.

Hannah: So it looks like it does have some down in the South.

Jennie: Do they choose to invade there because that's where Jeff Maximus is or is there some other reason they pick that area?

Hannah: Oh. So wait. So maybe he's not there currently. Maybe they're his bowling buddies, but he has left because he changes location every couple of years because these kids try to show up.

Jennie: Oh yeah. Then every couple of years, "Hey, Jeff is back. How you been buddy?"

Hannah: Yeah. So maybe the son who shows up here is looking for him, only knows him by his space name, his real name. And so then they'll put the two and two together because he's been gone. And so eventually, I don't know, maybe one of them figures it out and gets a hold of him. Maybe he shows back up to pick up something that he left. And he's like, "Hey, I forgot the ..." Or just happens to be swinging back through town. They're like, "Let's grab lunch." Here's a person who turns out to be his son.

Jennie: Oh gosh. I'm obsessed with the trying to find out why phrase. And so I love the idea of the sudden invading, but trying to do it surreptitiously, but he's not very good at it. And so first, they just think he's a weird guy and then they find out he's an alien. And then they find that he's invading and then they try to find it ... What do you think?

Hannah: Yeah. I think he needs to unravel in pieces. I am going to throw a wild wrench in here. So this is our title folks, which is going to involve some other stuff we're going to need to bring in. Our title is The Near Death Experience of a Group of Cheerleaders, which is a really crappy title, but.

Tim: Okay. Okay. So here's the thing. His bowling buddies are not actually guys who bowl with him. They are people who are super impressed with his bowling skills. And so he always-

Hannah: Okay. Like groupies.

Tim: Bowls the perfect game every single time. And they're like, "How can this guy bowl a perfect game every single time? How does he have that kind of skill?" And so they're actually cheerleaders, and their near-death experience is because he goes, "Listen, I never do this, but I've grown really close to you guys. How would you like to join me in space piracy and get out of here?"

Hannah: I feel like you need to come back to this as well. The phrasing of it is we spend all this time figuring out about the mom and giving her my name, and-

Tim: Yeah, that's true.

Hannah: And she's not in this. So does the son come to earth and then also the mother follows? Or does she show up first and is like, "Hey, so I need your help because my son is trying to invade earth. I don't know why." Or do they work with her instead? I don't know.

Tim: It sounds feasible that mom says, "Your dad's a deadbeat. You don't need to know him." The son says, "I want to know who my dad is." So he shows up first and then mom follows him to bring him back home. Like, "Hey, you stole a spaceship," whatever. Maybe he's not an adult. Maybe his son is younger, like an alien teenager, and so he shouldn't have left home, but has left so mom has followed him back. You know what? And it's possible even that maybe a romance rekindles from this because she rediscovers her love for this space pirate that she once felt feelings for. I don't know, just throwing that in there as an option.

Hannah: Yeah. There could be a romance element to this as well. So yeah, I like the idea that she and the bowling buddies are working together, and then the son shows up maybe a little bit ... Maybe they don't find either the son or Jeff Maximus until close to the climactic scene in the book and they just come across them and they're, I don't know, battling or something.

Jennie: See, I disagree. I think the most important part of this is why the son is there. And we say, "Oh, just to find his dad," but if that's what they're trying to find out, that seems like such a throwaway answer to me. What more is involved in this relationship? What is his motivation for coming to earth to invade it? Do you know what I'm saying?

Hannah: I think that would depend on how you spun it. I think if you-

Jennie: Maybe.

Hannah: If you don't reveal, at any point, the connection between the bowling buddy, if you don't reveal that her son had an earth father until the end, that's less of an anticlimactic answer, I think.

Jennie: I guess.

Hannah: If it's like, "Oh crap." But if she's just like, yeah. I mean-

Jennie: It just seems like such an important trip for him to make. I want to know more about his motivations.

Tim: So if we're talking about it, a lot of times you think about alien cultures and they're very similar. It's easy to write alien cultures as basically humans who look different. But what if this is a culture of people who doesn't have something like music or does it have a particular kind of ... Or that inspirational human nature that we think about. And so he's drawn because there's a part of him that sees beauty and sees art or music, something like that, something artistic.

Jennie: He wants to explore his human side by coming to earth and being a human.

Tim: Yes. And so his mother finally reveals to him, "The reason that you're like this, and the reason that you have these desires, these urges, these deep animal passions whatever that express themselves this way is because you are not actually fully Carblaxian. You are ..." Which I've just decided that's what they are, Carblaxian. "You are not fully Carblaxian. You are actually part human and your father is on earth," if we want him to be human. I'm fine with him being. So there's your motivation, find out who you are and meet your father.

Hannah: There's a part of me that also wants to bring in that there is an invasion to rule element as well. Maybe the alien race that they're from is primarily a conquering one, and he's like, "I am clearly uniquely suited to rule earth because I am part earth, but I am also part this group that is meant to rule everything." So he's going to come and claim his rightful spot as the Lord of the earth.

Jennie: Okay. That sounds like such a late teenagery thing to say. I was picturing a joy ride. So this kid learns that he's half human and that humans live on earth right? And so what if instead of coming with the random siblings idea that we had, what if he just has a group of his Carblaxian buddies? Like, "Let's go check out earth. It'll be fun. We'll go pretend to be human." And so that's what invasion is, is they're like, "We're going to go to college and go to spring break and go to bars, and -"

Hannah: It could be either one. It could be either him coming with a deliberate purpose to rule the earth. And maybe his mom doesn't know that at all because he's never seemed interested in ... He's interested in music and art, which doesn't exist on their planet and hasn't been interested in the warring and the conquering.

Jennie: Or what if what their culture is missing is games?

Tim: Interesting.

Jennie: That would tie into the bowling, you see what I mean? What if the only artifact-

Hannah: Interesting.

Jennie: Jeff Maximus left behind on his travels for his son to find was a bowling ball?

Tim: I like that just because we're bringing back the bowling in the prompt. I think that that's ... I like that.

Jennie: And so he comes to earth to figure out sports and strategy and, "Oh, hey, this is just like war." That goes along with the conquering thing. It's like war, but nobody ever actually wins anything. How interesting. It's almost amusing.

Tim: So maybe I'm going back to my Star Trek nerdiness, but I think about- Oh, and I can't remember these gusy, but on Star Trek Voyager, there's Hirogens. The Hirogens actually try to replace their warlike nature with the holograms. Like, "Oh, let's kill holograms instead of people." So maybe it's a similar type of plot where they're like, "Our planet is ravaged by war, but these games allow us to channel our competitive nature without having to murder each other all the time."

Jennie: So it's not just a joy ride. It's this guy deciding to explore his human heritage in order to find something that will help improve and save his people? An idealist?

Tim: Yeah, and maybe his buddies are like ... They're fighting these murderous urges as well because they're like, "We don't want our planet to be like this." And he says, "What if there's a different way?" And then he pulls out a bowling ball and holds it in front of them.

Jennie: Yeah. Oh, that would crack heads real good. "No, no, no. You don't throw it at heads."

Hannah: I am so torn between the two tracks of this. This is something that I think listeners could figure out, whether you make the son a villain or not. Whether you make him say, "Hey-"

Tim: I see.

Hannah: "I want to bring something that will satisfy the competitive, aggressive urges of the warring and the conquering without actually causing damage," or whether he says, "Cool. I'm going to use these strategies to become the ultimate conqueror." And either one of them could be so interesting, and so that's, I think that's something that we're going to leave to our listeners. If they want to create something based on this, there are a couple of different tracks that you can go with this. And I think either one would be so fascinating, right?

Tim: Yeah. I think you could totally do it. You can maybe even mix some and make it a redemption story at the end or something. There are definitely possibilities there.

Hannah: This could be a two or three series story where at the end of the-

Tim: Absolutely.

Hannah: First one, the son turns out to be the villain, and then the rest of it is them trying to either defeat him or work alongside him to bring him back.

Tim: Yeah. I do really love the idea of the bowling buddies somehow joining the team to overthrow this guy.

Hannah: And cheerleading them too.

Tim: Yeah because there's something attractive in reading a book to say, "Hey, I could be that guy." So the idea that I could just be on a bowling team and accidentally hook up with a space pirate and become part of a team to help save the world-

Hannah: Yeah.

Jennie: Oh yeah.

Hannah: I think-

Jennie: Oh yeah.

Hannah: I think the alien isn't going to get back together with Maximus. I think she is going to get together with whoever is the main point of view character of the bowling buddies.

Jennie: Totally.

Tim: Yes.

Hannah: Whoever that is, I think there's definitely a romance building. And then you have this weird offshoot where Jeff Maximus is like, "This is weird."

Tim: Hey man, what about the bro code?

Jennie: Oh this is such a fun idea.

Hannah: I like the tone of this.

Jennie: I want this as a TV show. I want to drag it out over maybe five seasons.

Hannah: This is Guardians of Galaxy big Lebowski.

Jennie: Right.

Tim: Yeah, yeah. Absolutely.

Hannah: Is what the story is and I love it. Fantastic. Well, we're going to close the book on our brainstorming for now because we have an amazingly solid little story here, and I hope that somebody out there listening does pull something together, does write a piece of this story-

Jennie: Oh seriously, please.

Hannah: And send it to us. I want to hear these characters voices. And before we close out today, we are going to each take a second to choose a story that we think our listeners should check out. Mine today is, I'm actually going to share something that I have not finished yet, which I do not usually do, but I am currently reading, I'm like 85% of the way through the book Lovecraft Country by Matt Ruff, and it is phenomenal. It is Lovecraftian. It's a Lovecraft rewrite set in 1950s America among the black community. And it takes all this paranoia that Lovecraft himself had coming out of his fear of nonwhite people and turns it into something that is rooted in something that is very much part of our history. And especially actually right now, as I'm reading it with all the rioting happening in Minneapolis, it just feels so poignant. It's apparently being turned into a TV series with Jordan Peele being involved, which is just the perfect combination.

Jennie: Yes.

Tim: Yeah, I heard about that.

Hannah: I'm 85% of the way through the book and so confident in it that I'm going to recommend it now.

Tim: Nice.

Hannah: So unless it goes off the rails in the last 15%, it's so, so good.

Tim: Awesome.

Hannah: So I highly recommend it.

Tim: And the title again? What is it called again?

Hannah: Lovecraft Country. All right, Jennie, you're up. What would you like to share with us today?

Jennie: Okay. You know how I like to shout out old favorites. So little story, I've been binge watching different TV shows with my roommate. I love to introduce people to new things, which is one of the reasons I love doing this podcast. And so all the things that she hasn't seen, like we just finished binge-watching Monk, which she liked, and I'm going to recommend that some other day, but she likes realism in her shows and in other media, but I actually convinced her just today to start watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer and I think she likes it.

Hannah: Yes. Yay.

Jennie: Because it's so far out of her wheelhouse, but the dialogue has already captured her and I think she's having fun and I'll be really excited if she keeps going and watches the whole series. So if you haven't watched that yet or if you need to re-binge, if it's been a while, it's dated technology-wise, but emotionally and character-wise and the dialogue is still relevant and poignant and go watch it again. It's amazing.

Tim: Oh yeah. For sure.

Hannah: I second that recommendation. It's so good. All right. Tim, what would you like to share? What story do you think our listeners should check out, if they haven't already?

Tim: So actually, I want to hit this from a reflective standpoint. I recently went through and rewatched Avatar, The Last Airbender, which is a children's animated show, and there's a lot of really interesting-

Jennie: I love that show.

Tim: It's really good. There's a lot of really deep philosophy in it, and even looking at characters like Iroh and the depth of them. And there's a particular episode where Iroh is, actually it's the day anniversary of his son's death and it's really powerful. Anyways, but that actually ... First of all, go back and rewatch the show if you watched as a kid, but really that transitions into this challenge for reflection.

Tim: If there was a book or a show that really impacted you as a child to go back, for me, Ender's Game was a book that really impacted me as a young adult. I read Ender's game and it really meant a lot to me. Go back and read it again and ask yourself, why did that mean so much to me? How did that build me into the adult that I am now? How was that a part of me? What was I searching for in this book? Because I think that by looking for those things, we can find some core motivations as to why we are who we are now. And it also helps us as creators to go, "What do people search for in books and why do they search for it?"

Tim: So that is my suggestion. I'm also going to obviously plug Dungeons and Dragons. If you're a creator and you have an itch that you want to scratch, maybe Dungeons and Dragons sounds like something nerdy to you, but it's a board game with infinite possibilities. It is a story that you are writing. It is an opportunity to work with other people, with friends, to solve puzzles and overcome issues. It's so much fun. And I also want to plug improv. I really love improvisation. I would just say look into improv, look into improv in your areas. And anyways, I've talked a lot, so I won't go into that, but yeah. So those are my plugs is find something and reflect on it and think about it and do some D&D. Get involved and if you don't know how to do that, I would check Reddit because there's lots of people that'll help you get connected and all that stuff. So those are my suggestions.

Hannah: Woo hoo.

Jennie: Yeah.

Hannah: Before we head on out, Tim, is there anything that you want to plug for yourself? Any social media, any projects you're working on that you want to share?

Tim: No, but I think that that's okay. And in fact with that, instead of plugging something for myself, I will say that I'm a creative person. I love to create. I'm in school to be a teacher, so I want to use this as an opportunity to encourage any you that may be discouraged because you're not using your creative skills right now in maybe the ways that you think that you would want to. There are opportunities in your life right now, and they don't have to be something that gains your fame or whatever, like writing a book or do ... Find opportunities in your life to use your creativity in ways that make you feel more yourself. So I don't have anything that I want to plug that would bring attention to myself, except for to say I'm doing things that make me feel fuller, and I would encourage you all to do the same.

Jennie: Amen. Wow.

Hannah: I love that. Thank you.

Jennie: Yes.

Hannah: Thank you once again for being on our show today, Tim. I really appreciate it. It's been super fun.

Tim: Yeah. I agree-

Jennie: Great to meet you.

Tim: This is a lot of fun. I love this kind of stuff. You too, Jennie. It was awesome to meet you.

Hannah: All right, folks. That is our episode. As a reminder, you can find us every other Thursday wherever you get your podcasts.

Jennie: Follow us on Twitter at writethispod. And if you've been inspired by this episode and have questions or comments or abductions or anything else, email us at somebodywritethis@gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you.

Hannah: We will be back with another episode in two weeks. We'll see you then.

Jennie: And as they say, he who tells the truth is turned out of nine cities.