Ender's Take-No-Prisoners War (Episode 16) Transcript

Friends, I have somehow *just* learned that the final version of this episode that I uploaded and released back in June has weird chunks of missing audio throughout. I don't know where those pieces went. It must have happened at some point during the final save process, because I absolutely would have caught that during editing! I'll have to keep an eye out for that one. As such, the audio and this resulting transcript I commissioned are...a little disjointed. It's a bummer, because it was a fun concept! I'll post the transcription and leave up the episode for completion's sake, and I've filled in the gaps where I can remember them, but feel free to jump along to later episodes if it's too distracting.

Hannah: An old friend finds himself shooting a big-budget war movie, but he is distracted by shop-lifting. 

Jennie: Somebody write this.

Hannah: Hi, and welcome to Somebody Write This where we use a random plot generator to give us an idea, and then we brainstorm how that could be a thing somebody might want to write. I'm Hannah.

Jennie: And I'm Jennie. And to help us with our brainstorming today, we have a guest. Welcome, Kealohilani.

Kealohilani: Oh, sorry. I was going to help you with my name for a second. And then I'm, like, Oh, she got it. And then I was just surprised because most people can't get that.

Jennie: I've just been living on the mainland so long.

Kealohilani: I was surprised that you did get it. That's pretty good.

Jennie: I used to live in Hawaii a long time.

Kealohilani: I've just been living on the mainland for a couple of years now so I'm really used to explaining it over and over and over.

Hannah: Yeah. Yes. Welcome. We're so glad you could join us. We wanted to actually open up our interview a little bit. Tell us about your book series, because you are one of our few published authors we've had on the podcast. So tell us about the series that you have out now. And I think you have a new one coming out in this year sometime.

Kealohilani: Yeah. Thank you. I have a fantasy adventure series. It's in the young adult genre, but the characters are a little older, so like 18 to 35. So it's clean, but it's kind of an older young adult; and the next one's coming out in May. There's three that are out in the series so far.

Hannah: And what's like the general premise of this world that you've created?

Kealohilani: Oh, it's a fun one to try to summarize; but basically, there's earth that we all know and love. And there's a sister planet called Alamea and the two planets have had their destinies linked since the 1960s, specifically since Vietnam, but earth has no idea that it's happening. So every time someone good or bad dies over here, their equivalent dies over here. There's like nothing you can do about it. And no doubt that earth is random anymore. There's this evil force that is totally set on global domination of both worlds and he's taking over their planet. And if he succeeds in getting the last free land over there, then earth will become his as well. And the only people that can stop this from happening are the Half-Hearts, but Half-Hearts do not even know who they are.

Jennie: Woo. What's a half-heart? Do we have to read to find out?

Kealohilani: You have to read to find out.

Hannah: So yeah, in writing, I think this is the first time we've spoken with somebody who's been doing really a long series rather than mostly standalone stories. What made you decide that you wanted to make this a full series and do you know how many there will be? Do you have a clear idea of the ending or is it unfolding as you go?

Kealohilani: I am kind of odd as a writer but I never intended to be one. This story came to me. It just came while I was in college and it would not leave me alone until I'd written it. It was originally three books; but in the rewrite, it's turning into six. So it's... Yeah, there'll be six. There's three out. The fourth one's coming out in May. And then I do know how it's ending and everything, because I have written it actually. The rewrite's just been fun because I got to add in things that I couldn't fit in the first time when it was three books since it's-

Jennie: Kind of like a director's cut? Nice.

Kealohilani: Yeah. So... and my process is very, just fluid. It comes to me, I have to write it. It won't leave me alone. So...

Hannah: It's really interesting to me because most of the time when I talk to folks who are, who go through the process, a lot of times things get cut or things get shortened. And in your case, it grew. Were there things that you realized you hadn't made connections between? What expanded?

Kealohilani: When I'm in my writing process, it kind of feels like I'm watching a movie and I'm just transcribing it. And so even when I go back to rewrite, it's almost like the pieces were there all along. It's just when it was in three books and I had to keep each books to about 600 pages, there was stuff that just couldn't fit. So, like, there was little different character develop moments and different side stories that kind of always belonged there, but I just couldn't do it. And so when I split the books into six, now I can do six 400-page books instead. So I'm basically getting an extra hundred or so pages per book at this point. It's making it so that I just have that time to explore the things that I couldn't when the page count had to be smaller.

Hannah: We talked a little bit before the podcast about your love of classic literature. How do you think that that-

Kealohilani: I feel like the classics just have this way of showing you the details and also getting into the emotions of things. And they're not super concerned with formula, in my opinion. They write the story the way that it comes. Like, if you're looking at Jane Eyre or the Count of Monte Cristo or, you know, sometimes they'll just wander off for a minute. I don't really do that too much. I try not to, because I realize I have modern audiences that aren't going to let me describe every blade of grass.

Jennie: Right. Like Victor Hugo in his chapter on the architecture of Paris.

Kealohilani: But just kind of more that I feel like they're very authentic and they stick to that story and what that story wants as far as being told, rather than trying to, like, oh, I have to hit this by this chapter or I have to make sure that this type of character's included or... yeah, it's more organic, I think.

Hannah: I'm always fascinated by how older literature [inaudible 00:05:58] because... yeah, why science fiction and fantasy is inundating our world right now. It's everywhere. And so I'm intrigued by how they often, they're... can reach back and touch on some of the stuff that we like much old. So I'm really, we want to make sure and let you be able to plug your, where we can find yours...

Kealohilani: Later on in the podcast?

Hannah: But for in the meantime, let's jump into our... As a reminder, we began with the synopsis. An old friend finds himself shooting a big budget war movie, but he is distracted by shoplifting. So many questions.

Kealohilani: Definitely. That's a great prompt.

Hannah: So how do you just find yourself shooting a big budget? That's something that doesn't... You need preparation for that, and planning.

Kealohilani: I would say that this old friend probably just woke up and was going about his morning routine, brushing his teeth and accidentally stumbled into a portal that took him through a parallel universe where he is a famous director and everybody was just asking him what to do. And he's very confused because he's not a director. He is an actor. So now he's-

Hannah: Yeah. So if he's in this alternate dimension or this alternate version, he's got a past there he just doesn't know about.

Jennie: So here's my question, which might inform the answer to yours, Hannah. Old friend of who? Does he know anybody in this alternate world-

Hannah: Everybody in this new world is an old friend he doesn't know about. So who is he an old friend to?

Kealohilani: I would say the writer on set is his old friend, but he doesn't know, like his self, he doesn't know him. So the writer keeps talking to him and referring to different inside jokes while they're filming. And he's just totally blanking on it. He's trying to cover for it, but his writer friend is starting to wonder what is wrong with him.

Hannah: So, yeah. So if he describes him, if he describes the director, the fake director, as an old friend, does that mean it's told from the point of view of the writer? Because you don't just describe a main character as an old friend. They're a friend in relation to somebody else. And so is it the writer who's... Like, we don't know it's a parallel dimension for a while. And then his director friend starts acting weird and realizes that this is a different person.

Kealohilani: I think that'd be a great way to start it.

Hannah: And so you can kind of unravel that a little bit at a time.

Kealohilani: And then you can randomly switch perspectives about halfway through so that you're...

Hannah: Yeah. Once the reveal happens, once you realize that this person is not from this universe...

Kealohilani: Yeah, you can kind of back up.

Hannah: You can switch and go back in time.

Kealohilani: Like 24 hours earlier.

Jennie: Right.

Hannah: Exactly.

Jennie: It'd be like-

Hannah: Like part of two of the books.

Jennie: Stanley Kubrick who? What? You know?

Hannah: Yeah. So, okay, so questions. Does that mean that the dimension he's in now, is that our current one or that he's from... Like, which one is earth?

Kealohilani: The one he's from.

Hannah: Okay, so we are writing it in a dimension which is similar to ours, but not-

Kealohilani: Yeah, but not perfect. Not perfectly.

Hannah: Okay. So enough that it could just feel like slightly in the future.

Jennie: So maybe-

Hannah: Referencing stars who don't exist yet and that kind of thing.

Kealohilani: Yeah. Well, I mean, it would have to be a different dimension because due to how things are right now, nobody's shooting a big budget movie.

Hannah: That's true. It at least has to be a different time.

Kealohilani: Got to go to a slightly parallel world here where they can still do something like that.

Hannah: Okay. So it looks like we've got this friendship building.

Kealohilani: Even shoplifting would be really hard right now. So when we get to this part of the plot...

Hannah: Maybe that's why he's distracted. Maybe he comes from our parallel, maybe he is actually from earth right now.

Kealohilani: Yeah. Exactly.

Hannah: And he's, like, what are people doing here? Yeah. So how is distracting keeping him from doing his big budget work? Is he shoplifting?

Jennie: There's two possibilities that I see. Either he's a klepto and can't help himself. So just daily life, grocery store, but even on set, like taking people's water bottles and whatever, or if somebody else on set, the shoplifter and he keeps finding his own stuff missing.

Kealohilani: Well, I think that him being it is really funny, but I also think maybe if the writer was the klepto, it'd be even more distracting, because the writer is the one that's kind of figuring out he's not him. And then the writer's like going off, like pulling stuff randomly around him and he's trying to cover for him. He doesn't know if he's part of it. Does he know this about his friend?

Jennie: Is he supposed to say something?

Hannah: Yeah. Just say something. Yeah. What's making it distracting? Is it just that his friend is doing stuff that he knows is wrong? Is it because he's having to deal with the legal fallout of it? Are people coming to him and being, like, "Your writer was just caught shoplifting". What about the shoplifting itself is distracting him?

Jennie: I keep thinking they're out to lunch and the writer's trying to talk to him and tell him, like, "You remember this story, you remember? Come on, you have to remember." But the guy doesn't remember because it's not really him. But in the meantime he's dumping the sugar packets into his briefcase or something,,,

Kealohilani: That could be. Or, I mean, you could even kind of expand the shoplifting, that he's stealing stuff from set. So the props department is coming over and being like, "We're missing the gun for this scene." [crosstalk 00:11:43] And then maybe the people in charge of pyrotechniques come over and like, "Yeah, we're missing some from before."

Jennie: Yeah. Which means he's probably selling this stuff on that world's version of eBay or whatever.

Hannah: Possibility, possibility. Is whoever shoplifting him or his writer friend, are they shoplifting stuff that hypothetically is supposed to help him get back to his original dimension?

Kealohilani: I like that.

Hannah: Are they trying to build a machine? Does he come from a universe or dimension where he knows how to get back?

Jennie: Ooh. Instead of a director, he- [crosstalk 00:12:16] You know, I don't think either of these worlds are ours.

Hannah: It's alternate dimension to alternate dimension.

Kealohilani: I'm thinking maybe he doesn't know how to get back, but he's starting to think of all the movies he's watched, time travel or dimensional travel and... So he's doing his best.

Jennie: So he's not a famous director, but he's a movie buff.

Kealohilani: Yeah, because he's an actor. Right? An actor.

Hannah: So he can kind of pass himself off as a director.

Jennie: Right. Right. Okay. I like it.

Hannah: Which make it easier for him.

Kealohilani: But he's leaning on his knowledge of movies and he's like, okay, maybe I can... So maybe, yeah, maybe if his writer friend is helping him steal stuff to try to build a machine, that could be cool.

Jennie: That would distract you from actually shooting the movie.

Kealohilani: That's true.

Hannah: It would. And maybe it means that he's adding stuff into the movie because he knows that those props will be things that he needs.

Jennie: What is he thinking?

Hannah: So e's doing weird rewrites that don't make any sense in a big budget war movie.

Kealohilani: Yes. That would be so funny.

Jennie: Like hot air balloon. Are you sure?

Hannah: But it's time for us to reveal the title for this. And it's not as terrible as it could be. The title is Ender's Take-No-Prisoners War.

Kealohilani: Is that the title of the fake movie or the title of the story we're telling?

Hannah: That's what I don't know. It could be both. It could be both. It could be the title of our story because it's the title of his movie, or maybe becomes the title of his movie. Is he Ender? If he's changing the story so that he can get the props he needs to make his machine, maybe he's changing the title because it's going to send a message to somebody. Maybe he knows somebody who monitors this alternate dimension and that this will be a hit to them to get something ready on their side or something. Maybe that ETNP beginning, acronym means something. I don't know.

Jennie: I'm thinking this is bringing up a whole, a question for me, which is, was his going through the portal an accident or not? Did somebody engineer him to go to that other world for some reason? Like, maybe an interdimensional war of some kind or maybe the weird old cliche, this is the only one that we have hope in.

Kealohilani: Well, okay. So I think he definitely got there by accident. I like your idea that maybe someone sent him there though; or it could be he was up for a really big part in our timeline and a rival actor somehow harnessed the space time continuum and sent him off so that he could take the part because, assuming he's in this other guy's life, the director is probably back in his life. So a director would not necessarily know how to act. And if he's just about to go up for an audition, that would truly ruin his chances of getting the role.

Jennie: Yeah, it would.

Kealohilani: So it's like a body swap kind of deal.

Jennie: Interesting. Okay. Do you think the story ever goes to where the director finding himself as the actor and nobody knows who he is?

Kealohilani: I think you have to. That's almost obligatory. Right? We got to see the other end of this. And it'd be really funny. And maybe it was like a huge, huge part he's up for; it's like a Marvel movie or something and he botches it because...

Kealohilani: So he's, like, ruining the actor's life. Well, the actor's over there thoroughly ruining his life because his movie is being turned into just a plot to get home instead of the blockbuster that it was supposed to be.

Jennie: Right. And then if the actor guy goes back, does that mean the director guy also goes back or is there now two of them?

Kealohilani: I mean, it'd be kind of fun if they had a run in for a little bit, like they're swapping, there's kind of this little minute in time and space where they're in a nowhere land and they get to communicate and maybe have a little fist fight before they go home and try to salvage into their lives. I'd like to see that.

Jennie: I totally would. That would be hilarious.

Hannah: We were trying to figure out whether this was an ac- There are definitely ways you can go. Whether it's something that was an accidental thing, whether it's something that they were working on a portal, but didn't mean to teleport him at that particular time, whether this was something they did on purpose. I don't know. That's definitely something that our listeners can take in whichever direction they would like

Jennie: Yeah. If it was on purpose, for why and what is going on behind the scenes as it were? Is there an overarching conflict? And then like, what are the specifics of how this guy is figuring out how to get home? Where does he learn about that? And how does he enlist his writer friend-

Hannah: Who shoplifts?

Jennie: ...doesn't actually belong there.

Kealohilani: Back to the future.

Hannah: Yeah. Oh, that's kind of what it is.

Jennie: Oh, you could pack this story with so much pop culture. It would be hilarious.

Kealohilani: Yeah, there's also Doctor Who which could be really interesting. [crosstalk 00:17:27] Maybe they're trying to build one of those... The wristbands? No, no, the wrist version. Oh, I can't remember what it's called right now. This is killing me.

Hannah: I don't remember.

Kealohilani: I'm a total Whovian and I know what this is.

Jennie: Ah, dang it. I can't remember either.

Kealohilani: It's time travel and it's time travel without a capsule. I just remember one of the character calls it, but it's not what-

Jennie: Anyway...

Kealohilani: Oh, a vortex manipulator.

Hannah: There you go, there you go. We got it.

Kealohilani: Vortex manipulator. So, that's what he's trying to build to get home.

Hannah: Yeah, I think we are right at the end time of discussing this and we have a lot more that people can latch on to. So please, please take this and write pieces of this, figure out what dimensions we're in, and whether this was an accident or not, and what's... Having to have to build this machine and what they need for it. Before we close out today, let's each take a second to shout out a story.

Hannah: All right, folks, I'm going to pause the podcast for a second here. Admittedly, I've been having trouble with my audio throughout this recording, but at this point in the process, my audio begins skipping and all of a sudden cutting entire words, like a full second or two out of my audio, which is clearly not helpful.

Hannah: So rather than subject you to listening to that, let me just tell you that the story that I was recommending was Marriage Story, the movie from last year with Adam Driver and Scarlett Johansson, who turned in phenomenal performances. It's a really compelling movie. And if you, like me, up until really recently, we're still catching up on the best movies of last year, I highly recommend it. It's available on Netflix. And now we'll go back to the rest of the podcast.

Jennie: All right. My recommendation this episode is the Carol Burnett show, which is now available in full or at least what they have on Amazon Prime. And not only do I recommend it-

Hannah: I love that show.

Kealohilani: So good.

Hannah: I used to watch it all the time as reruns as a kid, and it was just like a silly thing to watch, but now that I'm watching it again, not only is it excellent sketch comedy, obviously, but the show is now about 50 years old, give or take. And so looking at it as a cultural time capsule has also been really fascinating for me; how they treat subjects such as marital relations, sexuality, racism, and all these. What's okay to make fun of and what's not, and this kind of thing.

Hannah: And then there's also the guest stars. Seeing George Carlin guests, and he has all this hair and he's this young guy and guest star Ronald Reagan, who used to be an actor as you guys..., and things like that. And so it's fascinating, it's funny to watch, but it's also fascinating from a cultural perspective. So if you all ever wanted to watch all of that, if you love that show, all of it's on Prime right now. Go crazy.

Hannah: Tossing it over to our guest. What would you like to recommend for our listeners to check out?

Kealohilani: I would recommend one of my favorite books of all time, actually. It's the Phantom of the Opera by Gaston Leroux; and I would recommend the translation by Lowell Bair. I feel like that translation, I've read a few, that translation just, it feels very French. Even though it's in English, it's like they captured the essence of the language. It wasn't just a literal translation.

Kealohilani: And I love the story because I mean... I think most of us are familiar with the Phantom of the Opera through Andrew Lloyd Webber's amazing musical. But if you look at the source material, it's so fun because it was originally written as a... Gaston Leroux is known as being one of the fathers of the detective novel. So it's really a mystery that has a romance subplot in it, which then Andrew Lloyd Webber took that subplot and made it the main plot and put the mystery on the sideline.

Kealohilani: But it's kind of fun to see. I love them both. Honestly, they're both my favorites in, like, of everything, but just-

Jennie: We're both with you right there on this one. Yes.

Kealohilani: Yeah, the book's just amazing. And it's kind of lesser known, I think.

Hannah: Yeah, absolutely. I was all things Phantom of the Opera as a teenager. Like, literally all things, including the terrible fanfic stories.

Hannah: Before we head on off, is there anything... Yeah, go ahead and plug your own work. Plug where you can find your books or any social media or blogs that our listeners can use to find the stuff that you're doing.

Kealohilani: My social media and blogs and websites are undergoing a massive overhaul right now, so they're a little difficult. The best way to find me is to, you can type in my name on Amazon if they've got that, that they can see it and click on it and see my works. The other quickest way, if they don't want to deal with the Hawaiian name is to just type in Romeo Killed Juliet. It's one of my murder mysteries, which... It's still technically there, but that one's being rewritten and rereleased in September. But if you hit that, then you can click on my name on Amazon and it'll get you to my other work.

Kealohilani: And the Half-Hearts Chronicles is the first book in my fantasy adventure series that has been re-released as it should be. So the Half-Hearts Chronicles, it has a really pretty fantasy door that my artist made it for me on the cover.

Jennie: So once your social media stuff gets put together, we'll be happy to go back to this post and put the relevant... So do you come back and let us know.

Kealohilani: I will definitely let you know.

Hannah: Okay. Well, thank you so much for joining us today. I really appreciate having your take on the story that we wrote.

Kealohilani: Thank you. I appreciate being here and it was lovely to spend some time with you both.

Hannah: Yeah. All right, folks, that is our episode. As a reminder, you can find us every other Thursday, wherever you get your podcasts.

Jennie: Follow us on Twitter @writethispod. And if you've been inspired by this episode and have questions or comments or a story or anything else, email us at somebodywritethis@gmail.com. We would love to hear from you.

Hannah: We'll be back with another episode in two weeks. We'll see you then.

Jennie: And as they say, the frog and its contents belong to the [inaudible 00:23:38]